A man tells his psychiatrist: “Doc, I’m worried that I’m losing my wife’s love.”

The psychiatrist responds, “Why, has she started to neglect you?”

“Not at all,” says the man. “She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss every night. My shirts are always ironed, the house is always spotless, she’s a great cook, and she keeps the kids out of my hair. She lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to sex or says she has a headache.”

“So… what seems to be the problem?”

“Well… maybe I’m just being too sensitive,” the husband ventured, “but at night, when she thinks I’m sleeping, she puts her lips right up to my ear and whispers:

‘Die, you son of a bitch. Die.’“